Sherlock Ohms - The Return

April 9, 2019

 

That’s right ladies and gentlemen, we’ve managed to draw him away from his latest case and our very own vape detective, Sherlock Ohms, is back once again to answer your queries.
 

Richie from Slough comes to us with a familiar dilemma: ‘What’s up, Sherlock? My dripper keeps popping and spitting at me and it’s making me quite nervous; it’s also pretty painful, any suggestions?’

 

Sherlock: ‘My friend, there is a reason why the RDA is for the more experienced. Myriad issues like this are common place. I’d suggest this could be down to the wicking, so make sure the cotton sits plush inside your coil. Much like me at a wedding it should wiggle but not be too loose. If this doesn’t help try checking your coils for hot spots and fire at different wattages.’


Ruhnel from Leicester asks: ‘I’m fairly new to vaping and wondered if you could suggest any cloud tricks to impress the ladies?’


Sherlock: ‘I’d highly recommend the ‘Reichenbach Fall’. It’s simple enough - you blow a cloud out of your mouth and inhale it through your nose while, all the time, convincing your friends and colleagues you’re dead. That being said, if you’re relying on cloud tricks to impress women, you may have a deeper problem…’

 

Marcus from Leatherhead writes to ask: ‘I’m a bit ashamed as I often tell people I’m big into the vaping scene – but truth is I don’t know how to build. What can I do about my secret?

 

Sherlock: ‘There’s only thing to do old chap - learn! I do, however, converse with vapers up and down the country who vehemently idolise all things cloud, yet couldn’t give a fig about building and couldn’t tell an Ohmeter from a waffle-maker – not that we Victorians know what a waffle maker is… a crumpet maker, there you go. Anyway enough waffling, many reputable companies sell hand-wound and tested coils that will fit straight into a RDTA and RDA. Nothing wrong with a bit of subterfuge.’

 

Brianna from Liverpool remarks: ‘Vaping is my life Ohmsey, problem is it winds my boyfriend up something awful with the amount of cloud that floods our living room. I don’t want to quit but don’t see an alternative – any ideas?’


Sherlock: ‘Stop right there Madam, don’t you dare! I remember a similar experience – I let out a belt of vapour, the likes of which you would expect from a steam engine. It fogged out the drawing room and caused Watt-son to trip and drop my tea. What a shambles! Try switching to a Mouth to Lung set-up or, even better, a new relationship. Vaping isn’t exactly short of single men you know.’

 

Ronald from Chelsea from says: ‘You’re a fraud Sherlock, you and your contemporaries. These fruity vape flavours are just an underhanded way to get children addicted to nicotine. I’m picketing my local vape shop immediately!’


Sherlock: ‘Moriarty you confounded delinquent! Once again you seek to rile me into an untenable rage, but you shall not prevail. E Liquid is diligently regulated and properly sold - to ensure it doesn’t fall into the hands of vulnerable members of the community, including children. The offer of fruit flavours is a response to increasing consumer demand and innovation from inside the industry. Once again you have proved yourself to be the dullard we all know you are’.

 

Myra from Swindon has had a bit of bother: ‘I was watching Netflix last night whilst vaping and held the button down for too long causing the coil to burn out. It’s not the first time that’s happened, how can I protect my coils?’

 

Sherlock: ‘What’s a Netflix… some sort of cabaret show I deduce? Well, first off, I’d advise you to keep a closer eye on what you’re bloody well doing. I scolded Mrs. Hudson similarly last week for burning my kippers whilst refilling her TFV8. If you are easily distracted, regulated devices often feature an automatic cut-off when the device fires for more than ten seconds. That should save your bacon, but unfortunately not my kippers.’

 

 

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